WTF, JJ? Are you trying to incite a riot? Isn't the cardinal rule in any relationship "don't go to sleep mad"? Well, guess what? LAST NIGHT, I WENT TO SLEEP MAD. I arrived at work this morning to find that the internet is a droning hive of infuriated nerd-bees!
In my deep frustration, I lack the means to articulately say how I feel about the pending, seemingly inevitable fate that I may face in 2 weeks; the feeling that perhaps I was right when I first shunned your program many years ago... so I leave it to Michael Sippey, author of FAKELOCKE.COM....
Top 10 things wrong with last night's episode of LOST
1. Not one, but TWO new characters. The mother, and then the homicidal mother. Introducing new characters at this point in the show makes it seem like they have some sort of deal with the folks at Wikia where they share revenue on incremental page views to the new character pages. Yes, I have a warped world view. Yes, it's a ridiculous theory. BUT MY GOD they need to stop the madness.
2. The Island. While the show may still be riding the shark, THE ISLAND has clearly jumped it. Way back in Season 1 I asked somewhere "Is this Locke's story or Jack's" and someone answered "It's the Island's story." Well, the Island just sucks now. Really, Allison Janney? The island protects life, death AND rebirth, on the Island and off? The Island basically has NO CRED anymore as a character in the show. I don't care anymore that it's sitting on the bottom of the ocean in some timeline.
3. The golden glow. There hasn't been anything that cheesy since the floating ring at the end of the Lord of the Rings.
4. Allison Janney. I would still have her babies -- or maybe I'd just have CJ Cregg's babies; look, I even know how to spell CJ Cregg -- but my God she really was awful. Bonus: her hair was awful, and that weaved in thing in the back was clearly there to make the extensions work.
5. The golden glow, again. Ah! I know what that golden glow reminds me of. The red ball in Season 5 of Alias. See what I mean?
6. The whole "drink this glass of wine to protect the island" thing. Stop it with the combination Alice + Jesus metaphors already. We get it -- you went to college. Stop beating us over the head with your diploma.
7. They didn't show Mother Cregg destroy the "others'" camp. So what, we're supposed to believe that she has smoke monster powers too, even though at the end of the ep we see what looks like the birth of smokey? Just how did she kill all those people? Actually, forget it. I DON'T CARE.
8. I'll never get that hour back.
9. The gratuitous cut to Jack, Kate and Locke discovering our very own Adam and Eve. At this point the only people who would care about making that connection are people who ALREADY MADE THE CONNECTION.
10. It's making me go into the last few hours of the show with a bad taste in my mouth. I'm much less likely to cut the show any slack now, and that's a shame. Because they had me. And now they don't.